Praying for Specifics!

Happy Tuesday! I hope you're all having a great day so far! Though I haven't had much time this past week to sit down and write a post, it's been on my mind continuously. It seems like the past week I've been faced with daily challenges and then as I attempt to overcome them positively alone, I fail. But if I lean on God, I find my attitude shifts and I can instantly see the positive in whatever situation has risen. So as things kept coming up this week, I'd quickly think, YES..That would be a great topic for the blog! But you know what would happen after that? Doubt.

I'd instantly start doubting that it would help anyone, or if anyone else had felt the same way. We all fight our own individual battles after all. Who was to say that the small nuggets of peace I was gaining would benefit another soul on this Earth? So, I'd push it back out of my mind, and get busy with life. Living your day to day and focusing solely on that is the easiest way to forget what you were being led to do, and then ignored.

So what caused me to doubt myself? What caused me to ignore a path that I felt led down? Was it fear? Writing about the way that God is working in my life is still such a new venture for me. It's intimidating, honestly. If you've kept up with this blog so far, you know that I've just recently started rebuilding my relationship with Him, after a very long hiatus. But to say that you can't jump right back into a full blown relationship with Christ and instantly feel renewed and strengthened, in a way that can only come from somewhere besides ourselves, would be a lie! It's been glorious, literally.  I face all of the same adversities that I did prior to listening to Him again, but now, I don't feel defeated. I don't feel like that there's any challenge in this world that I can face that I would face with fear. God has promised us things, a multitude of things. If we would just listen to Him!

A constant prayer I've had as I restarted my personal journey has been for specifics, specifics of anything! If you know me, you know I can be a bit...stubborn. (Aren't we all?!) Quite frankly, I do believe the first time I prayed for a specific it was me testing God...was that the smartest thing to do? Definitely not. But He knows the desires of our hearts, and I desired to hear, feel, and even see His works. So that I could move forward with my relationship without having a doubt in my mind. So a few weeks ago it was the kids' first day back at mother's day out/preschool, I left the house and went to lock the door realizing I'd misplaced my key ring (I'd normally say lost, but now I know that wasn't the case). So you're probably like, "Good for you, that's my every other day." Well for me, it's just not. I can count on one hand the things I've "lost" in my adult life. *Major perk of being freakishly organized in every area of life* So I was bumbled all the way to their drop off, from there I head to my college algebra class, and I couldn't even focus for wondering where or what had happened.

When I got in my car to come home from school, I cried. I felt like I had failed, I pride myself on NOT losing stuff. Even my husband was shocked that I had slipped up and done that. I got home from school and literally tore my minivan and house APART looking for them. Nothing. I mean come on, I had a bright green alien key ring that we had just gotten in Roswell, NM...it couldn't be that hard to spot! I gave up. I sat down at my desk and started my algebra homework. 10 minutes in, my stomach growled reminding me I'd been so busy this whole morning looking for my keys that I didn't eat yet. I got up to go to the pantry to grab some food, but first I prayed that the lord would just throw the keys in my face. I bargained with Him (again, I don't recommend this, I'm still learning at this being a Christian thing!) I prayed, "You throw my keys in my face, I'll know you're listening, and I promise I'll live everyday doing Your works!" In retrospect, I was desperate to find my keys, and I'm still always shocked at the prayers he answers!

An alien looking up at me..

I was still so upset that I didn't want to eat, and I almost just sat down and kept working, but I got up anyway and headed to the pantry. I had plenty of stuff in the fridge to grab, but headed in the pantry and stared for a while. While standing there in perfect silence, I looked over and the row of hooks where I hang the kids school backpacks and the backpack I use as a diaper bag. And there, I could feel the answer. Your keys are in the diaper bag. Indeed, I unzipped it and saw a bright green alien staring up at me. I'd thrown them in there a few days prior as we went to lunch since I didn't have my purse with me. So, of course I cried about finding them. And remembered my "deal" with God. I was heard, answered, and would continue listening and praying HARD.

So when I tell you that 8 days passed, and everything was going good, and I was living an alright journey with God. Don't be surprised when my husband went to leave for work one morning and couldn't find his car key. We questioned kids, we turned my desk upside down, gave him a spare key and sent him on his way. I figured one of the kids had grabbed it and ran off with it. So I spent my entire morning rummaging through every toy basket, every kids bed, every closet. Checking couches, kitchen drawers, rummaged through every trash can, checked the fish tank (because, well stuff happens!) And was puzzled again. I felt defeated again. My husband and I texted at the irony that is us never losing anything and now here we both were having have lost important keys only a week apart. I was scratching my head and kinda concerned about our mental health at this point honestly (joking, but not really joking!) And it was an Ah-Ha moment. This wasn't ironic at all, this was too good to be ironic. It was God testing me. Fair is fair, I tested Him, why couldn't He test me?

I spy a car key!

Hours had passed with me looking, and I set down on my bed and prayed. I prayed for specifics. I prayed for exactly what I had prayed for last time. Throw the key in my face so that I can know you are there, I want to FEEL you! I cried (yeah, yeah..I cry A LOT.) and got up to go about my life. You know, I trusted Him at this point. He would bring the key to me, I just had to trust. I stood up off our bed and saw some clothes on the ground that needed to be picked up, a bottle of my perfume that Jonas likes to run off with, and an Xbox controller that the kids also run off with all the time. I threw the clothes in the dirty clothes, I put the perfume on my perfume shelf, and went to throw the Xbox controller in my husband's nightstand drawer with the remotes. And when I tell you that I nearly fainted when I slammed the drawer open to see the Dodge key tucked into that drawer, just staring up at me. I took a picture, and instantly shared it with Andy. I had chill bumps from head to toe, and could hardly believe it.

Something so simple, as finding a pair of lost keys, translated into true meaning for me. Would we have ever found the keys without praying a specific prayer? Sure, at some point, we would have. But to get instant answers and be led directly to where they were, BOTH times, woke my stubborn self up. Now I don't doubt that prayer works, specific prayers included. I also don't doubt that God chooses to test us, just as we unknowingly test him, too. No matter what adversities you are facing today, PRAY. Pray to find your keys, pray to find your relationship with Him, or pray for help learning to pray! This life's journey doesn't seem so challenging with Him on our side! Let's make everyday a GOOD day!