Dealing with Pressure
Hey! I hope you are all having a terrific Thursday. Today has been my catch up/slow down day for the week and I wanted to take the time to write a little bit about what's been on my mind so far this week. I think if you have any number of kids you will be able to relate to this, and even if you don't have kids you will still find yourself relating to much of it in your own lives, too. The best word I can use to describe my thoughts is "Pressure".
How many of you feel stressed about something in your life right now? It may be a little something or a life altering big something. Maybe it's a change or decision to be made. Maybe it's just a little bit of everything to finally combine into one word...Pressure. And what does that pressure create, stress! Unneeded stress at that! I've spent my entire week working on multiple different things, and each and every time I feel the pressure of being perfect. This can weigh heavily if you let it, so instead of stressing over trying to be perfect, here's what I've learned! (Okay, what I'm learning..because let's be honest, it's a process!)
With each and every person I talk to, including my mom friends, my own parents, and young adults fresh out of high school, every person has similar opinions of pressure, and some drastically different ones, too. The pressure of being a mom is HARD. The pressure of running a family with 4 kids in it is TOUGH. And the pressure of trying to be absolutely perfect in all areas of being a mom can be a challenge. Making decisions that directly affect your family can give you huge amounts of anxiety. Should I stay home full time? Should I work outside the home? Should I take college classes? Should I focus on my kids more? There's no right or wrong answer to these questions. In fact, every situation and family calls for a different scenario to make it work. Realizing that, and working to find your PERSONAL best solution, and not what other's may deem "perfect" is key here! Once you close off the world around you and look within your own 4 walls, you will find the answer and key to peace.
Figuring out finances for a family of 6 is a challenge in and of itself. It doesn't just come on a whim, it takes serious time and planning to be sure that each and every family member gets what they want. It's pressure to make sure that everyday is well thought out enough in advance to be taken care of. After all, every holiday expense is multiplied x 4 (4 Valentines, 4 Easter baskets, 4 Halloween costumes, 4 kids Christmases). And don't forget 4 growing kids clothes and 4 new backpacks for school. Oh yeah, and 4 kids Birthday's and Birthday Parties each and every year. These don't come easy (or cheap!). Don't think its just holidays or birthday's were pressure is felt, oh no..it's school events, extracurricular activities, and still buying enough groceries to feed everyone too. Sound familiar? Whether you're like me and buying for a large family, or whether it's just you or a tiny family that you have to budget for..it's pressure to be sure it's done right! But the same concept applies here, closing off the rest of the world and setting down to find out what suits you (and or your family) best. If you can afford to have circus animals flown in at all 4 of your kids birthday parties each year, great! But if you can't, I promise you, your kids are going to love and appreciate anything and everything you do for them, missing circus animals and all! It's all about focusing less on the Jones's and more on your individual family/self.
Pressure can come in many forms for a parent. Recently mine has been with teaching the kids how to all get along, and well. This week had "National Siblings Day" and I shared a post of the 3 youngest hugging each other and all smiling. I also said, they can fight like siblings too! Well that's the truth. The more they grow and learn, the more they also push each other's buttons. Each day is a new adventure based on each kids personalities, feelings, and well being. The saying "Life is like a box of chocolates..you never know what you're going to get." Completely accurate statement for a parent. Whether you have 1 or 10 kids! My key to this is learning to go with the flow. Some days they all play great together. Some days I feed them lunch at separate times so they don't all have to set at the table together. It really is just a day to day learning curve! Don't stress over it, learn to learn from them.
I've felt the pressure of being a mom and full time college student this week. With only about a month left in the semester, classes are wrapping up and there's a lot of testing and stressing going on. Even a field trip or two to be had. But you know what? Almost ALL of the time, leaving my kids to go to class sucks. Trying to get them to quiet play while I do online homework can be impossible. Studying for major exams while cuddling my kids is common. Leaving my husband to watch the kids after he's worked at his job the entire day never feels good. But you know why I do it? Because it's a goal of mine. It's worth it for me. I never graduated High School, and I'm determined to do obtain some sort of college degree to better me and my families life. The pressure of making it all work can weigh heavily. Sometimes my classes don't get my full attention, and sometimes my family doesn't get my full attention. It's all about balancing here. If I've spent the entire morning doing homework online while my kids figured out the morning for themselves or had too much screentime, then I spend the afternoon playing blocks and puzzles with them in the floor and finish off the night cuddled up for a movie night together. They're learning balance as I learn it. But in the end, we all win!!
So Mama's out there..women, men, kids...whatever you are going through. Whatever pressure that you are feeling in YOUR lives, let that focus be YOURS. Don't give anyone else the power to add stress where unneeded. Your decision for your family, for your own life and career, for your education or for your babies, is yours to be had. You can say yes or no, and piss off as many people along the way as you need to. But at the end of the day, your heart and happiness is where your home is. My husband and I have had to make some hard decisions that other people around us don't necessarily agree with. But at the forefront of every single decision we have made is our 4 children's happiness and health, our future, and our goals for our lives together. This is OUR priority. Can you find YOURS? And when you finally do make your priorities yours and only yours, the pressure goes away! I hope you can apply this to your lives to help relieve some of the pressure's we all face!
Have a great rest of your week! -Stephanie
How many of you feel stressed about something in your life right now? It may be a little something or a life altering big something. Maybe it's a change or decision to be made. Maybe it's just a little bit of everything to finally combine into one word...Pressure. And what does that pressure create, stress! Unneeded stress at that! I've spent my entire week working on multiple different things, and each and every time I feel the pressure of being perfect. This can weigh heavily if you let it, so instead of stressing over trying to be perfect, here's what I've learned! (Okay, what I'm learning..because let's be honest, it's a process!)With each and every person I talk to, including my mom friends, my own parents, and young adults fresh out of high school, every person has similar opinions of pressure, and some drastically different ones, too. The pressure of being a mom is HARD. The pressure of running a family with 4 kids in it is TOUGH. And the pressure of trying to be absolutely perfect in all areas of being a mom can be a challenge. Making decisions that directly affect your family can give you huge amounts of anxiety. Should I stay home full time? Should I work outside the home? Should I take college classes? Should I focus on my kids more? There's no right or wrong answer to these questions. In fact, every situation and family calls for a different scenario to make it work. Realizing that, and working to find your PERSONAL best solution, and not what other's may deem "perfect" is key here! Once you close off the world around you and look within your own 4 walls, you will find the answer and key to peace.
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| National Sibling's Day! |
Pressure can come in many forms for a parent. Recently mine has been with teaching the kids how to all get along, and well. This week had "National Siblings Day" and I shared a post of the 3 youngest hugging each other and all smiling. I also said, they can fight like siblings too! Well that's the truth. The more they grow and learn, the more they also push each other's buttons. Each day is a new adventure based on each kids personalities, feelings, and well being. The saying "Life is like a box of chocolates..you never know what you're going to get." Completely accurate statement for a parent. Whether you have 1 or 10 kids! My key to this is learning to go with the flow. Some days they all play great together. Some days I feed them lunch at separate times so they don't all have to set at the table together. It really is just a day to day learning curve! Don't stress over it, learn to learn from them.
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| My Study Buddy |
So Mama's out there..women, men, kids...whatever you are going through. Whatever pressure that you are feeling in YOUR lives, let that focus be YOURS. Don't give anyone else the power to add stress where unneeded. Your decision for your family, for your own life and career, for your education or for your babies, is yours to be had. You can say yes or no, and piss off as many people along the way as you need to. But at the end of the day, your heart and happiness is where your home is. My husband and I have had to make some hard decisions that other people around us don't necessarily agree with. But at the forefront of every single decision we have made is our 4 children's happiness and health, our future, and our goals for our lives together. This is OUR priority. Can you find YOURS? And when you finally do make your priorities yours and only yours, the pressure goes away! I hope you can apply this to your lives to help relieve some of the pressure's we all face!Have a great rest of your week! -Stephanie
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